Hinting

So I was at work yesterday with these new clients. We are writing some new business and enjoying each others company. They had just celebrated 50 years together and were telling me about their lives and how much they treasure their four children, who have now given them grandchildren and greatgrandchildren.

The husband said that those years of raising their children were the best years of their lives. I don't hear this very much from parents nowadays. I have been hearing a lot of "these were the mistakes we wish we could take back" or "hold off as long as you can until you get some common sense not to" or "boy, did we wish this never happened."

Yes, times are rough,

 things are going to be hard,

 and life will forever be unknown....

but THAT'S LIFE!

(Nik is much better at this than I am.)

You are still alive

and you are still alive, right?

But didn't things happen that changed everything?

I guess one way to make yourself miserable

is to make everyone else happy.

(ok, enough ventation, Dawna)

These all make me sad even though sometimes it might look as if they were just joking, I don't know that.
I don't know if you are joking or serious. I hear this stuff more than the happy stuff.

I will say that a friend posted on FB "I love when my little girl falls asleep in my arms. Motherhood is the greatest gift of all." This made me SO happy!
Motherhood IS a blessing, a hard never-ending job, but a joy as well. I am excited for this...to take on this new role.
And Nik can't wait to be a father. Whether it's a boy to throw a ball with or a girl to treat her like a princess (although he says she is going to be one cute tomboy. lol).

Well, back to the old man. As he was talking about his children he said
"So I take it you have kids, (paused), or you will be soon?" (as he pointed towards my stomach.)
I was thrown back.

WHAT did you just say?!?!

I was trying to suck in as much as I could but I guess sitting down really emphasizes everything.
Luckily I could tell him that "Yes, we are expecting our first."

But still, he was LUCKY!

It could very well have just been some weight for the winter.
But oh well, guess this cat has to come out of its bag sooner or later.
When I stand you can't really tell, and I have been trying to wear shirts that flow, but let's just be realistic - Nik and I really can't keep this secret in much longer.
Okay, maybe just me....but I'm sure he's dying to say something too.

So, with Thanksgiving right here....it is perfect because we wanted to say something at this holiday of Thankfulness (a word? it is now) and everything seems to be going well. I will be 10 weeks....and we think this is good enough, especially since all our family will be here at one gathering, it couldn't be better.

(except for Caren and Gma and Gpa Allred....we'll just have to Skype them)

OH....And I'm always exhausted! I went to bed at 8:30 last night and slept til 5:30.

I hear I better catch up on these hours for they quickly dwindle when Lil Berry arrives.

Let The Games Begin - 9 weeks

NAUSEA: a stomach distress with distaste for food and an urge to vomit.

Do you know what is causing said Nausea right now?

This little RASPBERRY in my belly!

Well that raspberry is graduating to a green olive (which REALLY makes me vomit) this coming week.

It just amazes me that something so small and so wonderful can be so painful and life changing…

and it hasn’t even shown itself to the world.

Nik is so wonderful and he is trying his best everyday to make me comfortable. I appreciate the fact that he does NOT say “I know how you feel” because he doesn’t. He just tries to make things better for me…running and getting me my crackers or a fresh glass of water and then rubbing my back. I am so blessed to have him with me on this journey.

My doctor gave me some meds that are suppose to help ease the nausea.

Getting that prescription filled as I type!

Oh, and it was the most precious thing, yesterday, to see Lil Berry’s heart beating. How crazy is it that a little being about 1inch in length has a little heart and it BEATS?!?! Seriously!

And people say it isn't a human yet!?! Now, THAT is sick!

The sound of the 160 beats per minute is just breath-taking…to know that some little human is growing inside me and I am responsible for him/her right now BEFORE s/he is even born by eating right and getting good rest and taking the proper vitamins. This is all just so amazing to me. I still lie awake at night and can’t believe this is possible.

The doctor said Lil Berry has a very strong heart beat and that the chances for miscarriage right now are about 2-3%. This is one thing that has been stressing me – hoping it doesn’t happen. Yes, if it happened it was meant to be, but I have seen friends go through those struggles and I can’t imagine the pain.

We are so excited to tell our friends and families next month.
It sure has been hard keeping it a secret and having to fib when people ask.

(It's funny to think I am blogging all about this and it is JUST for me right now,

but I type it as though you are following along right now.

A little therapy, you could call it.) 

I am 9 weeks right now and in my 3^rd month. That is so weird to think about.

Well, that is what is new with us. Nik keeps telling me that because of all the pain I am having now, this child is going to be an angel. I sure hope so! ;-)

(P.S.Sorry if this is so scatter-brained...

I am having a hard time thinking straight right now.

Lil Berry's brain is growing right now, stealing mine.

Plus, Fatigue, Nausea, and early mornings are rough.)